Left Lane

Having worn out the first generation of my recent jeans phase, I needed to extend the denim empire currently ruling my closet. Since the shops down the street are too expensive and a mall trip requires a mortgage nowadays, I decided to bite the bullet and buy jeans online.

Everyone knows you should examine clothes in a store before you buy them online, because you certainly can’t try them on over the Internet. It’s a risky enterprise. Nevertheless, I was ready to take a chance. The inappropriate rips (of the crotch persuasion) in my existing jeans now dictated my desperate actions.

When I received the jeans in the mail, I was pleasantly surprised. They are not too long and not too short. They are not too plain and not too fashionable. They are not too tight and not too baggy. Other features include: pockets big enough for a human hand, stress-free (wrinkle-free & stain-free) fabric, and that fresh-from-the-warehouse smell. Delectable. The fact is: if I were to go to heaven, I’d take these jeans with me. All six pairs of them.

You read that right. Once I bought the first pair and put them on, I proceeded to have a great night out in addition to being fashionable and comfortable the whole time, a rarity for me. After weeks of personal mental deliberation, I decided to get another pair.

Needless to say, at the online shop when I was checking out I struggled a bit with the “Quantity” option. How many more pairs of these truly perfect jeans could make me happy? “Screw it,” I said. I ordered five more pairs. I felt like a rock star that first week; every day I had a new pair of jeans fresh from the packaging. Is this what Mick Jagger feels like?

Posted in Personal, Thought.